Evil Pigs and Wallets
by BabybluesBabygirl
Summary: After trying to refine Demyx's taste a bit, Zexion finds the blond is smart in his own way. Based on the musing of a very bored Senior English class, so it is slightly crackish. This is Zemyx/Dexion but completely fluffy at the end. No piggy banks or wallets were harmed.


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the creative power to create this, I make no profit from this fic.

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"Hey Zexion, can I- I mean, may I ramble for a moment?"

"Only if it involves one of the books you borrowed." Zexion replied, never looking up from his current read.

"It does, halfway, I was reading _Dante's Inferno_ and after I finished it I came up with a really good explanation that sorta corresponds with the book."

Zexion blinked in surprise and replayed the last bit of dialogue. Looking up he saw the usually happy go lucky and carefree Demyx with a very serious expression on his face. Marking his page and closing his book, he watched Demyx jump slightly, pulled from his inner musings.

"This will probably sound really stupid and you'll probably think I'm a total idiot but may I ramble? Please?"

"I want to ask some questions first." A nod. "Did you read the entire book, no skipping or losing your spot and starting from a random place?"

"Yeah every word, I finished it today."

"And did you have any trouble understanding any of it?"

"A few times but I figured it out, I liked it a lot and asked the librarian for a copy since Axel was kind enough to burn yours..."

"Well once you get the new copy, you can keep it."

"Oh no, I also got the one with the notes explaining it too, I want to make sure I have the full concept and main point of _Dante's Inferno_." Demyx let a big, goofy smile break through his serious demeanor.

"Very well. The ramblings you are wanting to release deal with _Dante's Inferno_ and what else exactly?"

"The outside connection of a piggy bank. I know it sounds sill but I promise it really makes sense." Demyx pleaded desperately, intriguing the scholar more.

"You may proceed with your rambling."

"Okay so you know how in one of the levels of hell it has gluttonous people being punished? Well I had this strange though while reading it because I looked at my piggy bank and you know how Axel was running around with his wallet saying it was hungry?"

"While intoxicated." Zexion pointed out.

"Moot point Zexy. Wallets and piggy banks especially are gluttonous! They fill up over and over again but you barely have anything to show for it! It's like an addiction, a rule of the universe that we have to fill up our wallets and piggy banks! Except they never stay full, they just eat and eat and eat! It's madness Zexy, madness I tell you!" Demyx continued his rant, amusing Zexion to no end with his cute facial expressions.

"Demyx, I love your brain."

"Huh?" The blond musician was frozen mid rant, which Zexion had completely tuned out, and his face was a mix of confusion, shock and anger. One leg was lifted mid motion of being stomped in frustration. His arms were in a very weird position, as if in mid flap if Zexion had to guess. Deciding to put a theory into play while answering Dexmy's question, Zexion reopened his book.

"Well Demyx, while I truly understand where you are coming from and how you deduced your conclusions, that is not quite the right context." He watched the blond deflate, limbs slowly dropping from their unusual positions. "Gluttony means excessive eating and drinking or the act of eating or drinking to excess."

"Oh." Was the quiet reply, a touch of defeat to it. "Well then I guess I'd better... Go do something. Sorry for bothering you Number VI." Demyx didn't turn fast enough to hide his slightly damp eyes from Zexion but just fast enough to miss the frown his word choice caused.

"Well if you'd like I could help you, once you receive your copies of course, to understand the text better." He offered, redirecting his gaze back to his book. He wondered how Demyx didn't receive backlash from how fast his head spun around, eyes sparkling with tears and hope, it cemented his theory further and proved it once and for all.

"That would be great. Thanks Zexion."

"Oh and another thing Demyx." The slack jawed look of shock amused him to no end, "We really must do something about this evil you speak of."

"Evil?"

"Yes you mentioned during your rant or 'ramblings' as you call it."

"About the piggy banks?" A nod. "And wallets?" The poor blond was so confused, it took everything for the other not to laugh at his cute display.

"Yes, those evils and madness."

"Zexy, are you feeling okay?" Demyx asked cautiously, approaching the other to feel his forehead for a fever.

"Never better Dem." Catching the hand that faltered in surprise, he gave is a gentle kiss even though it couldn't be felt the action still accomplished his goal, a blushing Number IX. "Now shall we go save our sanity and extinguish the _greedy_ evil pigs and wallets?"

"Only you can make sense of my crazy brain." Demyx laughed, sneaking a quick peck from a surprised schemer.

"Didn't I already say I love your brain?"

"Yes I do believe you did... Did I fail to mention I love yours as well?"

"Yes you did but that is good to know."

"Can we start with Axel's piggy bank?" The blond asked cheerfully, a smirk he adopted from Zexion himself showing through.

"Does it deserve it?"

"Oh most certainly!"

"Then lead the way ducky."

"Aw you beat me to the pet names!" Demyx whined, causing Zexion to chuckle aloud as he reached to his hand.

"You love water and I don't particularly see you as a fish."

"I'd be an awesome merman!" Demyx defended, pouting childishly.

"If you see fit to delude yourself, who I am to stop you?"

"My loving too smart boyfriend who is helping me commit the equivalent of murder on innocent inanimate objects and owners of said objects you help me run from?"

"You do learn quickly, and of course I will, I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn't."


End file.
